Dropped Mallory off at dance, ran to the grocery store, ran home to unload groceries & put the cold things away, went to pick up the younger two girls.
Fight ensues in the van over who is going to sit in the back. Both girls are screaming at the top of their lungs, launching over one another, and tripping over all the junk in the floor in our van. People are beginning to stare. The mom in the van next to me gives me a polite smile, but behind that smile it was obvious she was thinking "My Children Would Never..." Clara wins the battle but not the fight, as Lila is assured a place in the back on the next trip in the car on the way to church.
We finally get strapped in and buckled and head out to pick up Mallory. About 2 minutes after we're on the road Clara starts whining because she forgot to get her VeggieTale guitar out of her cubby. (Said guitar is all of three inches long). We have a melt down, but I assure her we will get it tomorrow. Meanwhile, Lila has found some scuba gear in the van (don't ask!) and she's pretending that it's a flute and singing a song. Loudly. Apparently, Clara is still in a bad mood over the missing guitar, so she begins yelling "Stop Lila! Stop Lila! I sleep!" Of course, we all KNOW she's not asleep. It doesn't help either. Lila just sings louder.
Fast forward a couple of blocks. We finally make it to the dance studio. After Mallory's class is finished, she comes out without shoes on, so I send her back in to put on some shoes. This becomes Lila & Clara's' chance to escape into the studio. Mallory gets her shoes on while I'm attempting to round them up. Lila has managed to sweet talk Ms. Joyce into giving her a sticker. I tell her to come on. She starts my way, but then Clara realizes what's up and has a meltdown because she needs a sticker too. So I timidly ask Ms. Joyce if Clara can have a sticker too. Of course. By now, Lila is wanting ANOTHER sticker, which I deny permission for, and she gets upset. Getting upset is actually putting it mildly. She throws herself on the ground kicking and screaming and kicks me as I pick her up (with Clara on my other hip to keep her from getting away and running in front of the cars) and screams all the way to the van. We have another fight as we near the van and get in over who is sitting where again. Lila is still upset and irrational over the sticker incident that the seat situation just escalates. Plus, she finds a paper kangaroo in the van that she made two days ago at school that Clara has dismembered, and now she's in tears because Clara "broke her favorite Kangaroo!"
Meanwhile, we get on the road and Clara realizes kitty is in the floor and no one can reach it for her. She cries all 15-20 minutes of the way home.
We get home and other than the disagreement about the color of flowered lollypops each child wanted, it's pretty uneventful for a few minutes while I cook supper. Of course, Clara wants a waffle instead of chicken and we have to cry about that - and hit Mommy, thus a time out. And Mallory and Lila have to fight about where Mommy sits at the table, which of course ends in Lila hitting Mallory and spending some time in time out as well. After everyone is out of time out, we enjoy a relatively peaceful dinner. Of course, Mallory thinks the rice is too spicy.
Kevin calls to say he's running late and will meet me at church. All the while Clara's screaming at my feet and holding onto my leg because she wants a waffle. I tell Kevin to just come get the older two. When he gets home, Clara is throwing a fit because she wants to put her pajama pants on HERSELF. He takes the other two to church and I put Clara to bed. It's quiet for a few minutes... at least until the other half of the family gets home.
Please tell me I'm not the only one whose children act this way.
Calgon, take me away!